She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Someone shattered a urinal.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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