Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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