My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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