I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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