I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize