My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
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