I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
If I die, sorry about rent.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Randomize
