She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
