I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
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