I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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