Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
