a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
There are leaves in my underwear?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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