is your mom at the bar?
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
So squirting runs in the family.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
