shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
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