The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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