Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I think my vagina is haunted
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Girls should come with a carfax report
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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