I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I look better un-naked...
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
