My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
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Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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