Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
