If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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