I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
