ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
