This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
How's work?
Spinning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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