i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize
