everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
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