I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
