It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
