soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
