The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
