problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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