She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
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Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
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My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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