I forgot how hot balto sounded
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
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This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
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Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK