kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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