he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize