Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
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We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
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I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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