ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I puked a lego.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
