She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Do you remember whose house we're in?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
