To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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