I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
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