Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She made me pour olive oil on her.
My bed smells like the plague
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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