We got so high we made milksteak
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Randomize
