I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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