turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
