Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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