it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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