Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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