Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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