they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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