There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
this will be a night to untag.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Randomize