im drinking this country out of the recession.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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