ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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