Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize