Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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