There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
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