why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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