Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
