WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Randomize
