So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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