my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
