I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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