I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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