You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
