I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize