You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
